I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
I have written about this before. It is not hard to see that the sex drive suspends reason, so that many are driven and act on their biological urges. Most likely, mankind would have gone extinct long ago if procreation were the result of one’s reason and not of lust.
However, to give the proud commenter on Vox Day’s blog (the registry guy) above credit for his honesty: while he used a derogatory term—he cannot stand “basic bitches”—, unlike most horny guys on there whose god is their genitalia, he admitted that most likely he would have ended up as another “ForeverAlone” if he had not met his smart wife with whom he is able to connect.
Exactly my thoughts as well. To quote Robin Williams (the quote is apparently not directly from Williams, but of a character he played; still applies, though):
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
This is why I reject Vox Day’s view on his teammate’s wife. He
gave the following example for “compromises” one may have to make
when marrying (which is a bit ridiculous, given that his friend
was simply horny).
His friend once lamented that he could not have a deep and meaningful
conversation with his wife because he apparently is a lot smarter than
she is. The wife in question was a cheerful Dutch woman who looked
better than almost any woman Vox Day had seen, including models from
Victoria’s Secret. This just shows the horniness though, and
the Bible itself advises against it: Proverbs 31:10-31.
After all, they will grow old, and then such a marriage solely based on looks will most likely fail.
Someone can find a woman (or a man for that matter) physically attractive but understand almost instantly that their character, temperament and intelligence is not compatible with one’s own. This is also one of numerous arguments against most race and ethnic mixing, besides simply destroying existing nations and peoples.
For a Christian, there isn’t much of a problem anyway. As C. S. Lewis wrote in “Mere Christianity” (I’m paraphrasing): “the Christian either marries and stays married until death, or lives a completely chaste life.” Vox Day is honest enough to admit that if someone used the “game” nonsense to live a sexually decadent life of debauchery, then that’s evil.
Another observation I made is that in the Old Testament, the Israelites are often compared to a whore for whoring with other nations and their gods.
The brilliant Otto Weininger is most likely correct in that hardly any man exists who does not feel flattered if he notices that women like him and find him attractive. But his whole point was to rise above our animal nature. Not unlike what the Bible and many wise men of the past taught.
The rating system of 1-10 is stupid beyond measure, for why whould I even want to be found attractive by a beautiful but crazy, even wicked women? Some women even send love letters to convicted mass murderers.
If you want children of good moral character, intelligence and so on, there is certainly more to look for than just looks. The Jukes and Kallikak families should’ve taught us.
Regarding the Dutch woman above, Vox Day of all people would actually have to know that in the case of those with high IQs at least, the feeling of alienation is stronger than in most people. Even Chris Langan, whom Vox Day does not reject, said he was single until the age of almost fifty and often battled with feelings of loneliness.
He himself said he would rather live in a car and eat thuna out of cans, read books downloaded via gutenberg.org than to work as a CEO and being surrounded by people with an IQ of around 105.
He repeated this, back on his blogspot blog that has now been removed, at least another time when someone asked if high IQ people cannot simply “break things down” at the places they work. To which Vox Day replied with something along the lines of (I paraphrase from memory):
“Certainly. However, what if the alternative of living in a cage and subsisting on a diet of nuts and berries seems more palatable than having to work with averagely intelligent people?” (He said had he done this, he would have been a millionaire as a tech CEO a long time ago or so.)
A fitting quote from “Bridging the Gap. The Reconciliation of Intelligence and Culture” by Nils M. Holm:
[…]
Having a job that pays the bills helps to find your way in this world, and having a jobs that allows for some extras, like a new car, vacations in foreign countries, or maybe an own appartment, is seen as the ultimate goal by many. However, this can be a stale experience when you are always on your own. You may find a partner, but never feel any connection to them, because they do not share your interests, your values, your empathy, your sensitivity, etc. Many relationships of high-IQ people are uneasy compromises at best. The alienation they first felt at home and then at school and in later life extends also to their closest connections.
[…]
I side, again, with the great Nicolás Gómez Dávila:
Eroticism, sensuality, and love, when they do not converge in the same person, are nothing more, in isolation, than a disease, a vice, and foolishness.
Let us respect the two poles of man: concrete individual, human spirit.
But not the middle zone of an animal with opinions.The sight of the modern world is so repugnant that ethical imperatives are becoming certainties in the indicative for us.
The growing number of people who consider the modern world “unacceptable” would comfort us, if we did not know that they are captives of the same convictions that made the modern world unacceptable.
Adapting to the modern world demands the hardening of one’s sensibility and the debasing of one’s character.
The modern world will not be punished.
It is the punishment.The modern world obliges us to refute foolish ideas, instead of silencing the fools.
The modern world demands that we approve what it should not even dare ask us to tolerate.
Sex does not solve even sexual problems.
Despite what is taught today, easy sex does not solve every problem.
By merely looking at the face of the modern man one infers the mistake in attributing ethical importance to his sexual behavior.
Modern man’s life oscillates between two poles: business and sex.
Sensuality is a cultural legacy of the ancient world.
Societies where the Greco-Roman legacy is being wiped out, or where it does not exist, only know sentimentalism and sexuality.To liberate man is to subject him to greed and sex.
This century has succeeded in turning sex into a trivial activity and an odious topic.
When the modern consciousness suspends its economic routines, it only oscillates between political anguish and sexual obsession.
Sexual promiscuity is the tip society pays in order to appease its slaves.
The problem is not sexual repression, nor sexual liberation, but sex.
Sex and violence do not replace transcendence after it has been banished.
Not even the devil remains for the man who loses God.The 19th century did not live with more anguish because of its sexual repression than the 20th century with its sexual liberation.
Identical obsession, even when the symptoms are the opposite.Love uses the vocabulary of sex to write a text unintelligible to sex alone.